conversations about mattering and what matters
i am interested in having conversations with people about mattering and what matters. the conversations are one to one and/or in small groups — say 12 or less.
for bigger groups, i can give a talk or a reading from my book and/or work in progress and take questions and/or talk with people afterwards.
the speaking stones : the participants sit in a circle. in the middle of the circle is a box of stones. we agree that to only speak when holding a stone. you can speak (or be silent) for as long as you want. when you have finished you put the stone back in the box. if someone else is already holding a stone and speaking (or not) you wait until they have put their stone back before taking your turn. if no one is holding a stone we sit together in silence. you can also pick up a stone to introduce and maintain a silence. (some of those silences are astoundingly profound!)
these conversations (which i refer to as posthumanist conversations because i think we urgently need to look beyond the possibilities of the human and humanism — to position ourselves beyond the merely human) have no specific aim or goal but the idea is to make it possible for a person (or persons) to speak and to be heard by an other or others who is/are authentically listening — and to enable people to think and speak together about things that matter and to enable different possibilities of being in the world to become meaningful by articulating them and by listening to each other.
i am interested in working with people who are interested in change — people who want to find a different way to be, a different way of being in the world — and how, in the process, we may be able to begin to making a difference to the world.
in a one to one conversation my main task, as i see it, is to listen — and to ask questions, and to share of my own experience and ideas where it seems appropriate.
some people i talk with are already finding their way in this process and for them the benefit of such a conversation is more affirming : what they need is a conversation with someone who has been thinking along similar lines or differently, perhaps for a bit longer, who might have additional insights or experiences to offer or for something/someone to push against ☺
some people i work with are or think/feel/believe they are lost, some are broken, others are in despair.
other conversations can be more like therapy. i am a qualified narrative therapist, but i do not apply or enforce any specific rigid method, or wilfully dig through the past. here the work we do together is thinking collectively and collaboratively working through the entanglements, emotions and cognitive turmoil of being human and of being relational.
i don’t do ‘spirituality’ — but i think/feel/believe there is a spiritual crisis and i have a spiritual attitude.
for some people the conversation can be a consolation — i have qualifications in pastoral work and spiritual care from the southern and northern hemispheres, but i am non-aligned, independent and post-theist, which is like atheism only better :)
i also work with and advise people who are thinking about ending their lives.
all conversations are free of dogma, superstition, creed and religion. no one is subject/ed to anything. everyone retains their autonomy and their agency — and sometimes someone gets something, or loses something.
the conversations take place in groups, or one to one — or both — in person or, usualy as a follow up to a face to face conversation, via the internet.
that is not to say you can’t give me money at any time — as much or as little as you like. it’s easy!
although i have many different qualifications and years of experience i don’t sell my labour or time. i don’t provide a service, ‘professional’ or otherwise and the people i work with are not ‘clients’. i have no insurance and i charge no fees. thus there are no costs to the conversations, unless i have to travel and incur expenses.
in the end it’s just two (or more) people talking and thinking together in real time about what matters.
what more could anyone want?
why would you want anything anyway?
isn’t that where all the trouble started?