life, being a human, is always difficult but it is especially difficult for an ‘enkeling’ … someone swimming against the tide. the other 99.9% of the humans think you’re weird and say so. or they ignore you and refuse to let you in. or they try to hurt you, humiliate you or kill you. or they try to make you be more like themselves.
yet you cannot help but swim against the tide, try as you might. it is part of your constitution. it is in your genes, in the subatomic particles that constitute your being, it is part of your being.
in clear moments you ask : what is wrong with people, with the world. and then there are those other moments when you ask : what is wrong with me? it is my own fault!
my darlings my friends … post-lovers :
it is not your fault!.
they say ‘it is what it is’ — i am not sure what saying that is supposed to do but i am sad today because it is the way it is and there is no way to change it.
‘all you can do is all you can do’ is another one of those statements but there is a problem about ‘doing’, there is a problem with intention and intentionality itself.
it is not about identifying a problem and formulating a plan to tackle the problem and then proceeding to carry out the necessary actions to solve the problem.
it is about collectively creating the conditions where it becomes possible to imagine other im/possible worlds and different ways of being in those worlds and for those worlds to come into being.
even more (or less) than ‘creating’ it is allowing those conditions to come about, to allow a space to come about into which other possibilities can unfold.
can we be more like plants?
vegetating has a bad name but let’s give vegetality a try hey hey.
let’s be rosebay willowherb
growing in broad swathes
on motorway and railway
embankments and along
side hedges out in fields
our tall pink spires
visible from far away
but until then we are human and the human condition is our lot — in all of its myriad manifestations and we will have to suffer in one way or another.
but we don’t want to suffer…
yes well. quite!
just be quiet…